Battle and Brew’s Middle Earth Feast of Starlight

Our meal started off with an Amuse Bouche of Goat Cheese Stuffed and Tempura-Battered Strawberries drizzled with a Pedro Ximenez Balsamic Glaze, and served with an Aperol Spritz aperitif. This dish was a fun commentary on the Hobbitish habit of frying up practically anything.

 

More notable was how this course presented an overture to everything a Hobbit likes to eat — and that’s pretty much everything! Upon biting, the crunchy and light tempura coating gave way to sweet and smooth strawberry before mellowing out under a tart but creamy cheesiness. The accompanying drink balanced out the morsel with bitter orange.

Course 2: Breakfast

Up next was Breakfast – a Mini-Mushroom and Spinach Omelette with a Bacon and Potato Cake, paired with Mystic Renaud Saison. Now I know for a fact that cooking the classic omelet is no easy task, but this one was executed to the letter: glossy with not a spot of browning. The button mushrooms and taters were earthy and satisfying, and the creamy hollandaise brought out some of the sweeter notes in the Saison.

Course 3: We’ve had one, yes…

The next course was also breakfast. Yes, I know. We already had one. But what about Second Breakfast? I ask myself this question every day and this course certainly answered it with a “Hobbit Hole” Egg in a Basket with Sausage Links and Duck Gravy. A Bloody Mary, complete with a celery-olive eye of Sauron, watched over our meal and seared our mouths with the blazing fires of Mount Doom.

Like Merry, Pippin, and Chef Teddy, I am also a fiend for mushrooms. This is why I’m going to espouse especially on our Elevensies course: Buckwheat Spaetzle with Pearl Onions and Shiitake Mushrooms served with Argus Cidery’s Tepache. This was a delightful combination of textures where nutty, handmade rustic pasta and meaty mushrooms joined in holy umami matrimony by garlic parmesan cream in a union as beautiful as the Gamgee-Cotton wedding. The Tepache was a dry pineapple cider with a very present salt note, which served as a sharp palate cleanser to cut through creaminess like the dawn through the skylights of a Hobbit Home.

Up next arrived a tasty and sweet Luncheon: Mead Marinated Quail Leg with Rainbow Chard and Golden Beets, served with Reformation Lark Prickly Pear Wheat. This dish had the loveliest presentation of the whole night. I also loved how the crisp chard stalks soaked up the marinade, adding some tartness to balance with the quail’s golden honey and beer’s dry finish. Chef Teddy informed me later that the marinade consisted of orange juice and three different meads from Viking Alchemist Meadery. After searing the quail, he reduced this marinade into an epically delicious sauce worth summoning the Rohirrim over. The beacons were lit,  and Gondor called for aid that only sweet honey citrus could satisfy.

Chef Teddy cited Kitchen Overlord‘s “Unexpected Cookbook” as his inspiration for the next dish: Afternoon Tea. He mentioned the book’s recipe for hare stew with dumplings, and how he wanted to expand on that concept by making Rabbit Matzo Ball Stew paired with Scottish Caramel Pu-erh. “I went from Hobbit to Jew, “ he said, but then later amended “I just found out that rabbit is not kosher in any sense of the word”. It didn’t matter to me, because by the light of the Valar, this dish was amazing.

The savory broth brimmed with comforting flavors and held together with sweet rabbit meat and crispy fried onions. The drink pairing couldn’t be any more perfect. The Pu-erh fermented tea featured heavy caramel and tobacco on the nose but wafted light and mellow on the tongue, reminiscent of the finest weed in the Southfarthling. I drank it down too quickly to see if there were smoke rings and sailing ships on the surface.

Course 7: Dinner

Dinner then arrived with a plate Venison Cobbler and a generous pouring of Proemio Malbec. This dish of braised venison shoulder featured dark and forward flavors with cinnamon and star anise. Like an upscale version of venison stew, this was best enjoyed piled on top of the delicate yet savory layers of biscuit cobbler. The chef said this was his favorite pairing of the night. I have to agree. This bold and fruity wine was wonderfully buttery and tied this dish together into a good and hearty meal suitable for a Ranger on a long respite at the Prancing Pony.

 

Course 8: Supper

Chef Teddy then began to introduce the next and final savory dish of the evening: Red Wine Stewed Oxtail with “Taters” and Carrot.

“What’s taters, precious?” Came a voice from behind him…Gollum’s voice, that is, who then threw a flailing tantrum for a meal that was raw and wriggling.

The braising liquid, a blend of pinot noir and malbec, tenderized the meat nicely. The root vegetables were the real Evenstar of this dish, though. I don’t care what Gollum thinks, those taters and carrots were roasted, caramelized, and drop-dead-under-a-dozen-orc-arrows delicious. I could eat an entire bowl of those vegetables on their own.

Served up with this bowl of delight was Stone Brewing’s WOOTstout Chocolate Coffee Stout. This ale smacks you in the face with cocoa and coffee, then and smooths out the experience with a vanilla bourbon finish. My question, though, really, is do they come in pints? I’m wanting one!

Course 9: Proud-Sweets!

No visit to Middle Earth is complete without dessert, and Chef Teddy and his crew were more than happy to provide. Nestled among a plate of lemon lavender scones and sugar cookies was a bowl of Irish Bread Pudding made with chocolate stout, dried fruits, and topped with whiskey cream.

 

By this time I was ready to roll over like an overstuffed oliphant, but I managed to get a few well-savored bites in before washing it down with some cinnamon spiced coffee. Like the dying embers of the Green Dragon’s fireplace, this brew’s bourbon-Brazilian blend of smoke and chocolate acted as a fond farewell, with just a gentle jolt of energy enough to send us on home to our own Hobbit Holes.

I can say it is no easy task to feast like a Hobbit, but my word, it sure is a satisfying one! Once and over again I really encourage you, my readers, to keep an eye on Battle and Brew’s website for the next culinary fantasy adventure they have up their collective sleeve. As for me? I must really give my deepest thanks again to Chef Teddy and the staff for making this an experience so wonderful. It was, and still remains, a light for me in dark places when all other lights go out.