If you didn’t already know, I live in Atlanta, I love D&D podcasts, and my friends are awesome. Now that we have those three facts out of the way, I want to introduce you to an Atlanta D&D podcast run by some of my excellent friends, Loot & Dagger.
Personally, I can’t think of a better way to do so than making a recipe that will make your mouth water and pique your interest.
Click here to skip to the recipe for Mistport Smoked Dragon.
Raise the Crimson Goblets!
Loot & Dagger is an actual-play Dungeons and Dragons podcast that presents “a mix of homebrew and Wizards of the Coast content, with a touch of southern comfort.” DM James Stiver runs the show with a velvety smooth radio voice that shifts from sexy to scratchy depending on the character, and with a collection of original outro songs for the followers to jam to.
Joining him for the first three seasons are the fantastic Adam Jones (of Stellar Arcanum fame), Chris McDaniel, Mareta Pettigrew, and Jenny Ray Wallace. And what a couple of seasons they were! We see the party befriend a goblin and convince him to become a hero. We see them ruin the wedding plans of the fungal goddess Zuggtmoy. We also see them go on a beach vacation complete with umbrella drinks and a giant scary turtle monster.
Where trouble stirs, the Loot & Dagger Mercenary Company is glad to try their relationship with luck goddess Tymora. And they’ll either save the day or run away screaming “nope!” (but might come back if you promise them a brunch worthy of the gods.)
So, where am I going with this?
Misport Mesquite Marinades
Loot & Dagger takes place in the Forgotten Realms campaign of Dungeons & Dragons. However, one of my favorite things about the podcast is their homebrew addition of the city of Mistport. Mistport is basically a medieval fantasy version of the city of Atlanta. Adam Jones’s character, Sir Viktor Sinclair, is a cleric from a distinguished Mistport family. He will smite evil for Tymora’s glory and then cook you a fine plate of biscuits and gravy.
He’s also responsible for taking Twix the goblin under his wing and training him as a gentleman. As Twix lands the killing blow on a green dragon, we wonder. Is this story really about good and evil? Or is it about what makes one a hero? We continue to ponder this as Viktor pit-smokes massive green dragon steaks basted in “mesquite Mistport marinades.”
So my task, obviously, is to smoke some dragon steaks with Mistport marinade. The first task was to figure out what that meant. Georgia style barbecue isn’t really all that defined as it differs from county to county. It’s probably closest to North Carolina’s, though. I started making an NC-style BBQ rub using paprika, cumin, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and white and brown sugar.
To that, since the Loot & Dagger party slays a green dragon, I added matcha powder and nutmeg. Green dragons are associated with poison, and nutmeg in large quantities is toxic. This much won’t hurt you. Just be careful the next time you eat some dragon eggs.
I then mixed some of it into some IPA from a popular Mistport brewery to marinate our dragon steak. It’s hoppy to cut through the sweetness. And it also just so happens to be one of DM James Stiver’s favorite brews. That’s right. I actually bought IPA for these folks because I love them so much.
Where am I going to find dragon steak, you wonder? For the sake of the barbecue method, we used a pork loin roast. Not tenderloin, mind you. Pork loin’s the thicker cut you make pork chops out of. Just make sure to trim and score the fat cap so it absorbs all of those spicy flavors. You might also need to trim it down to fit your smoke method of choice.
Now I understand that not all of you have access to a smoker, backyard, or smoking pit. That’s why I have included instructions on how to do this recipe using your stovetop and a stockpot. Keep in mind you will still need an exhaust fan than vents to the outdoors (or keep your windows open. The key is to smoke the steak, not your apartment’s security deposit!)
Time, patience, and a little bit of Tymora’s blessing will yield beautiful results worth raising your IPA-filled crimson goblets over. So make sure to tune in to the Loot & Dagger Podcast for your next meal with a side of dice rolls. You can subscribe to them wherever podcasts are found.
The table is set. Now it’s time to tell some stories.
Sing for your Supper!
If you plan to cook the recipe off the site, keep scrolling. However, while access to recipes on the blog will always be free, I now have printable PDF recipe cards and thematic cook-along Spotify playlists as rewards for those who choose to support the blog.
The printable recipe cards and playlist for Mistport Smoked Dragon will be available as a $2 donor reward on my Ko-Fi page until the next post goes up.
-OR-
You can instead join my Patreon community at the “Sing for your Supper” level ($1/month) for access to the playlists or the “It’s All in the Cards” level ($5/month) or higher for access to ALL of my blog recipe cards and playlists. Patrons of all reward tiers will even receive a welcome gift of my Lord of the Rings recipe cards and playlists from January 2019 to get you started.
Of course, if you are already a Loot & Dagger’s Patreon community member, you will receive the recipe card and playlist link for this post free of charge.
Who wants BBQ’d Dragon?
Mistport Smoked Dragon
Equipment: Cutting board, kitchen knife, microwave, measuring cup, wire whisk, gallon-sized ziplock bag, probe meat thermometer, meat smoker or stovetop smoker kit (large stockpot, metal steamer basket with the central pin removed, aluminum foil, metal pie plate). Optional: Stovetop and saucepan.
Ingredients:
- 4 to 5 lb pork loin roast
- 12 oz bottle of Sweetwater 420 or strong IPA beer
- 2 tablespoons paprika
- 3 tablespoons salt
- 3 tablespoons white sugar
- 3 tablespoons brown sugar
- 1 tablespoon ground cumin
- 1/2 tablespoon black pepper
- 1/2 tablespoon cayenne pepper
- 2 tablespoons matcha powder
- 1 tablespoon ground nutmeg
- cooking spray
- handful mesquite smoking chips
Sauce (Optional):
- 1 cup ketchup
- 1/3 cup mustard
- 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
Instructions:
The night before:
- Trim the fat cap on the pork roast so that it is, at most, a 1/4 of an inch thick. Cut off any excess meat for another use to fit the roast to your steamer basket if you are smoking this on the stovetop.
- Score through the fat cap on top in a crosshatch pattern with a sharp knife. Transfer the roast to the ziplock bag and refrigerate.
- Toss the paprika, salt, sugars, cumin, black pepper, and cayenne pepper together in a small dish. Blend the matcha powder and nutmeg in the other.
- Heat a cup of water in the microwave and whisk in four tablespoons of the paprika mix, one tablespoon at a time, until the sugar and salt dissolve. Set aside to cool completely.
- Take the bag of pork out of the refrigerator. Then pour the beer, a tablespoon and a half of the matcha mix, and the cooled measuring cup of spiced water into the bag. Seal and refrigerate overnight.
Two to three hours before serving:
- Set up your smoker by preheating it to 225°F. Or, if you are doing the stovetop method, line the bottom of a stockpot with foil and place a handful of wood chips on top. Cover with the metal pie plate, then the steamer basket. Coat the basket with cooking spray.
- Blend the remaining spice mixes in a single bowl. Remove the roast from the bag and pat dry with paper towels. Coat lightly with olive oil, then liberally apply the spice rub. Discard or reserve half of the marinade and pour in the remaining spice mix to make sauce later.
- Place the roast on the grill grate of the smoker or the steamer basket. Close the smoker and cook 2 to 3 hours according to the manufacturer’s directions or until the probe thermometer registers 145°F.
- If doing the stovetop method, place the lid on top and seal the edges with foil. Crank the heat to high for 7 minutes to ignite the chips, then reduce the heat to low to cook 2 hours until the probe thermometer registers 145°F.
- Transfer the pork to a carving board and tent with foil to let rest 10 to 15 minutes before slicing against the grain and serving.
Make the sauce (optional):
- Pour half the marinade into a saucepan with the remaining spice blend and bring to a boil for 7 minutes while skimming the fat off the surface.
- Whisk in the ketchup, mustard, brown sugar, and apple cider vinegar. Continue to boil, often stirring, for another five minutes until reduced and thickened.
- Remove from heat and serve either brushed on the roast or on the side for personal preference.
