So in honor of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, we’ll be taking a look into the one of the best point-and-click series in gaming history. That’s right, land lubbers and grog-guzzlers, I be talking about the Monkey Island Series!
In these games ye play the above-board and awkward pirate wannabe, Guybrush Threepwood. This man be having only two things workin’ for him – the ability to hold his breath underwater for ten minutes, and the love of the smokin’ hot Governor of Mêlée Island™ – Elaine Marley.It be not said whether the first be directly related to the other! However thanks to a wee bit o’ ingenuity, and an ocean of dumb luck, Guybrush time and time again defeats Elaine’s evil undead ex-boyfriend, the dread pirate Captain LeChuck. In the face of danger, tis certain Threepwood will face it –whether by swordfighting a witty insults, or by combining objects like grog breathmints and rubber chickens with a pulleys in the middle.
Today’s inspired recipes come from the third game in the series, The Curse of Monkey Island. At one point in yer quest, ye come upon Blondbeard’s Chicken Shoppe in the town of Puerto Pollo on Plunder Island. It be owned by hook and oven mitt-wearin’ Captain Blondebeard, whose specialties include fried chicken and super slaw.
T’would be lucrative, but the man be plagued by a monstrous chicken known as El Pollo Diablo, who frees all of his chickens at night.
“El Pollo Diablo, the Giant Demon Chicken! Tall as a man and twice as powerful, his massive drumsticks propel him through the dark jungle with ease. No one has seen the Beast, but on the eve of the full moon… …his blood-curdling squawk can be heard from every corner of this wretched island. In the dark of night, he roosts patiently… watching… waiting… for the one day…He roams the island, exacting terrible vengeance on those who would capture and eat his smaller brethren.”
This recipe explores the question “What would Blondebeard do if he just happened to defeat El Pollo Diablo?” He’s a pirate in the Monkey Island Universe; he’d keelhaul it in some grog, of course! What be grog, ye ask? Well according to the games it be:
a secret mixture that contains one or more of the following: Kerosene, Propylene Glycol, Artificial Sweeteners, Sulfuric Acid, Rum, Acetone, Battery Acid, red dye#2, Scumm, Axle grease and/or pepperoni.
In history, it was a sailor’s water ration mixed with alcohol (usually rum) to stave off the foulness of stagnation. Later versions used lime or lemon juice and sugar or molasses to sweeten it, and as a side effect, prevented scurvy with vitamin C. Pirates and merchantmen actually favored bumbo, grog’s sweeter cousin. However, considerin’ that the Monkey Island series also features talkin’ skulls, used-ship salesmen, and piratical pyramid schemes, I think we can afford some anachronisms. So first here’s how t’make to some palatable (non-toxic) grog that ye will also be using for your marinade.
- 2 cups water
- 1 cup molasses
- 1/2 cup lime juice
- 1 and 1/2 cup spiced rum
- 1/4 tsp nutmeg
El Pollo Diablo Nuggets
- 4 boneless chicken breasts, cut into 1.5-inch pieces
- 1-2 chipotle peppers canned in adobo sauce
- 1 cup grog
- 1 and 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
- 1 cup Italian breadcrumbs
- 2 Tbs Caribbean jerk seasoning
- 2 Tbs garlic power
- 2 Tbs salt
- 1/4 cup coconut milk
- 2 eggs, beaten
- canola or sunflower oil
- One to two days before you are planning to cook the nuggets, cut chicken and put into a Ziploc bag with grog and chipotle peppers. Add a little of the adobo sauce or an extra pepper or two if you want it spicy. Seal bag and keep in fridge until you’re ready to cook.
- On the Mix up all the dry ingredients in a bowl until fully incorporated.
- In a separate bowl, beat the eggs and mix with coconut milk.
- Dip chicken pieces in egg mixture and coat on all sides with dry ingredient mixture. Set aside pieces on a separate plate after coating
- Pour up to an inch of oil into a large pan with high sides. Heat on high heat and make sure your vent hood is on high,
- Add the chicken pieces with long tongs to oil. Hold each one just below the oil’s surface for five seconds before releasing it. This will seal the exterior and stop it from sticking to the pot or the other food.
- Flip the pieces periodically. Remove with tongs with the breading is reddish brown and crispy to dry on a plate or bowl lined with paper towels.
- Pat nuggets dry and serve.
Grog-Cilantro Dipping Sauce
- 3/4 cup sour cream
- 1/2 cup chopped, fresh cilantro
- 1/2 tsp garlic powder
- 1/8 tsp onion powder
- 1 Tbs grog
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 2 splashes of lime juice
Piña Grog-lada Super Slaw
- 16 oz bag coleslaw mix
- 2 large sheets of nori, sliced into strips (optional)
- 1/4 cup chopped, fresh cilantro (optional)
- 1/4 cup grog
- 4 Tbs coconut milk
- 8 oz can crushed pineapple, drained.
- 4 Tbs pineapple juice
- 1/4 tsp Caribbean jerk seasoning
- 1/2 tsp salt
- splash of lime juice