“When I was a kid I always wanted to run away and join a troupe. Then the magic showed up, and my parents sent me off to the Wizardium for the tax break” – Perf the Wizard, JourneyQuest.
Welcome back fans of or soon-to-be-fans of JourneyQuest!
For those just joining us, JourneyQuest is a web series that follows (as creator Matt Vancil puts it): “a group of dysfunctional adventurers on a quest to discover and destroy the mythical Sword of Fighting. JOURNEYQUEST is a comedic adventure through the fantasy world of Fartherall, where intellectual orcs, incompetent wizards, and holy zombies form the living (and not-so-living) backdrop to an epic story of unrequited love, burning passions, and severely reluctant heroism. And running away. Lots of running away …”
If you thought some of those faces look familiar, it’s because JourneyQuest is also the collaborative creation of Zombie Orpheus Entertainment and Dead Gentlemen Productions. These studios are well known for their D&D fan films The Gamers and The Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising, as well as the supernatural comedic Demon Hunters franchise.
A few weeks ago I posted a recipe based on the bard Wren Birdsong from JourneyQuest, this week I want to feature our other protagonist, Superfluous “Perf” the Wizard!
So keep reading for a little look into the psyche of the land of Fatherall’s worst wizard and chosen savior with a recipe for Perf’s “Conjure Milk” Raspberry Scones.
Click here to skip to the recipe for Perf’s “Conjure Milk” Raspberry Scones.
The Reluctant Lacto-mancer
Superfluous, better known as “Perf,” is the primary spellcaster in the story’s adventuring party. The only problem? He kind of sucks at it. Unknowingly born with dyslexia, Perf cannot help but cast the exact opposite of whatever spell he attempts to read from his spellbook.
When we find him the only “deadly, ancient magicks” he can cast from memory are the following four spells:
- Mend (a sewing spell)
- Vague (it’s hard to explain)
- Conjure Milk
- And whatever spell this is:
After four years of searching for the fabled Sword of Fighting, and suffering both physical and emotional abuse from his party members, we see Perf running away at almost every chance he can get. There’s one thing that keeps him coming back, though.
The story leads us to believe it’s his crush on Nara, the elven ranger in his party. I think it’s more than that, though. Our biggest clue is in Season 3 when Perf explains his given name, Superfluous. In Wizardium, the masters rename the new initiates based on their best trait. “I went to school with guys named Amazing and Potent and Magnanimous,” he says, “They don’t [expect me to succeed]. They expect me to suck, which I do.”
In a world that values usability over compassion, Perf desires above all for someone to see him as a real person, for the caring and devoted individual he is. “Henley. My sodding name is Henley. You never asked, not once,” he says, in the dire hope that the ones he cares about would see him as something more than Superfluous.
Deadly Ancient Magicks
Today’s recipe comes from episode 8 in the third season when Perf and Nara see the Oracle. Like when Wren visits, the Oracle presents Perf with his “favorite” raspberry scones.
What strikes me about this scene, especially about Perf’s character, is that even though he screws up wasting his two first questions, he does his best to uphold his promise to the cleric Carrow with the final question. His loyalty to his friend shows why fate chose Perf as the Chosen One — he would sacrifice his life and comfort for the people he loves every time.
A scone is usually an unremarkable looking pastry — basically a dry and sweetened biscuit. I decided that I wanted Perf’s favorite pastry to be a reflection of who he is. That is why I chose to have them “conjure milk” with a sweet and creamy center made from ricotta, mascarpone, and raspberry jam.
To further illustrate Perf’s personality, I also blended in some lavender and ground coriander. Lavender traditionally symbolizes “devotion,” and coriander means “hidden worth.” They also possess an herbal, citrusy scent that the trash-talking-paragon-of-toxic-masculinity Sword of Fighting would find offensive.
So here it is, as simple-on-the-surface scone hiding a sweetness that will steal your heart. Bake up a batch to start a JourneyQuest binge-fest. This recipe, like Perf, is anything but Superfluous.
Start watching JourneyQuest on Youtube, or on Zombie Orpheus Entertainment’s website.
Some Real Black Robe Stuff…
Perf's 'Conjure Milk' Raspberry Scones
Equipment: Oven, flour sifter, two mixing bowls, wire whisk, pastry cutter, fork, freezer and refrigerator, hand or stand mixer, rolling pin, cooking spray, baking sheet, freezer paper, and a pastry brush.
- 3 cups all-purpose flour, sifted
- 1 and 1/2 tablespoons baking powder
- 3/8 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 2 teaspoons ground coriander
- 1 tablespoon dried lavender
- pinch of kosher salt
- 1/2 cup dried raspberries (or mixed berries)
- 9 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes
- 1 cup whole milk
- 1 egg, beaten
- 1/2 cup whole milk ricotta cheese
- 1/4 cup raspberry jam
- 1/2 cup mascarpone cheese
- 2 tablespoons sugar
- pinch of kosher salt
- Whisk all the scone’s dry ingredients together in one of the mixing bowls. Add the butter and gently cut it and the berries in with the pastry cutter, using rocking motions. Tap the cutter against the inner side of the bowl to clear it and continue until the flour-covered butter is the consistency of large breadcrumbs.
- Pour in the milk and stir the mixture with a fork into a shaggy dough. Do not overmix. Chill the dough in the refrigerator while you make the filling.
- Place all the filling ingredients into the other mixing bowl and whip with the hand or stand mixer until consistent and fluffy. Chill the filling in the refrigerator.
- Empty the scone dough onto a floured surface. Dust the top with flour and roll it into a 1/2-inch thick rectangle. Cut that rectangle into six pieces.
- Spoon one and a half tablespoons of filling onto each dough portion. Then carefully fold over it into a triangle and pinch gently to seal the edges. Place the formed scone onto a freezer paper-lined baking sheet and chill the scones in the freezer or at least an hour.
- When ready to bake preheat the oven to 445° F. Take the paper and scones off the baking sheet, spray the sheet with cooking spray.
- Place only the scones back on the sheet and space them at least an inch apart from each other. Brush each scone with beaten egg using the pastry brush, dust the top with more sugar, then bake them for 15 minutes.
- Allow scones to cool 5-10 minutes, or until the filling sets, before serving.