Munchies & Mini | Felzoun’s Chicken Pasties

Felzoun's Chicken & Cheese Pasties inspired by D&D's Volo's Guide to Waterdeep. Recipe by The Gluttonous Geek.

Welcome back, Geeky Gluttons, to another episode of Munchies & Minis!

For those just joining us, Munchies & Minis is my tabletop RPG-inspired live cooking show. Once a week, I make a snack or meal to pair with a side of dice rolls. You can catch me on Twitch (unless indicated otherwise on social media) Wednesday nights at 7 pm EST.

In our last video, we started season 3 with some cyberpunk-style currywurst inspired by Shadowrun: Dragonfall. This week, we return to D&D’s Volo’s guide series for some chicken and cheese pasties from Felzoun’s Folly.

“A quick tankard and a bite…”

It’s no secret that I figuratively tear apart the bard Volo’s travel guides for content.  Today’s dish comes from Felzoun’s Folly, a tavern mentioned in Volo’s Guide to Waterdeep. Owned by “the bristle-bearded, fearless dwarven host,” Felzoun Thar, “this many-windowed tavern is a noisy, crowded, casual place, where many merchants and shoppers grab a quick tankard and a bite.”

This is in Waterdeep, so raw oysters run plentiful on the menu for the “strong-stomached.” But most folks opt for the sausage rolls or today’s dish: “chicken-and-cheese past[ies] augmented by fresh asparagus with melted butter.” While sure, I could give you a Velveeta chicken-stuffed calzone, cheap food in by modern and medieval standards differ greatly.

Chicken only became an inexpensive ingredient in the 40s after some genetic engineering rendered the birds “chunky enough for the whole family.” Before that, eggs were your moneymaker. You don’t want to kill your source of income prematurely. So chickens were either luxury meat or the result of an aged-out egg layer.

With that, it makes more sense to me that you’d have some other, more plentiful pantry staples in your fantasy McChicken. That’s why I included apples, chives, and rosemary in this mix. Felzoun’s Folly also has “six white wines to be had, including sweet Neverwinter Nectar,” so I simmered it all in some vermouth. Don’t have access to vermouth? A cheap Moscato would also do nicely.

So when I wrote this recipe and cooked it on the show, I misjudged its cheesiness. I’ve now amended it to make it cheesier. Because truly, that was the word that drew you to this post.

Do this instead: After deglazing the pan with vermouth, reduce the heat to medium-low, then stir in 2 tablespoons of flour. Once coated, pour in a 1/2 cup of milk. Stir in the two cups of cheese, one handful at a time, until all melted and incorporated. Transfer to the regular mixing bowl and set aside.

Finally, I baked all of these ingredients into a hot-water lard crust since keeping fat cold enough for flaky or laminated pie crusts would be an expensive endeavor in a medieval tavern. It’s possible, just difficult. That said, I won’t stop you if you want to swap out the crust for some puff pastry.

Want to learn how to make Felzoun’s Chicken & Cheese Pasties for your adventuring party? Watch the video or find out how to get the recipe card below!

Felzoun’s Chicken & Cheese Pasties

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This week, my blog post and Munchies & Minis recipe cards are available in exchange for a $2 donation on my Ko-fi page.

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Felzoun's Chicken & Cheese Pasties inspired by D&D's Volo's Guide to Waterdeep. Recipe by The Gluttonous Geek.

I hope that this episode inspired you to start a culinary campaign of your own. Next week, I’ll continue the third season of Munchies & Minis with a recipe chosen by my Patreon subscribers!

Make sure to join me live Wednesday on Twitch from 7 pm – 9 pm EST. OR you can catch the archived episode on YouTube.

The Gluttonous Geek